FACE

Good afternoon, everyone. It’s wonderful to see all your faces in person. Are you all

looking at me? Great. Then, let’s begin.

Raise your hands if you love your mothers. Thank you.

Now, take a moment to look

around the room and observe who else has their hand raised. It’s heartwarming, isn’t it? Nearly

everyone has their hand up because, mothers love their children, and children love

their mothers. Now , We are living in the age of generative AI and prompt engineering, which enables

us to refine and adjust questions to get the exact answers we seek. So, let me re-frame my question.

How many of you enjoy listening to your mothers? Mhmm. Take another look around the room.

Notice how fewer hands are raised this time. Now let me pose a more specific question: How

many of you enjoy listening to your mother’s advice and acting on it immediately? Ah, this

response is more aligned with what I anticipated.

Notice how drastically the number of hands has dwindled. Have you ever wondered

why we love our mothers so deeply, yet often resist listening to their advice?

Each of us has our own reasons. For me, it’s a bit unique.

When I was young and my mother was in her prime, she would weave enchanting tales for me

—stories of fairies, elves, kings, and other magical worlds.

Those stories were delightful to hear, but as we grew older , the life’s responsibilities took

over; the time for such tales faded. Imagining those fairies or reliving the stories became a

distant memory. Instead, she started giving me an endless list of dos and don’ts.

“Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Do it this way. How dare you do it that way?” Her constant

instructions frustrated me endlessly.

I am her only daughter. Many assume that being an only child is a blessing. But in reality,

it comes with its challenges. There are no siblings to share those moments or scoldings with.

All the parental focus rests on me. It can be exhausting to endure constant instructions and

reprimands, sometimes making life feel overly demanding and, frankly, a little overwhelming.

Whenever I felt defeated, she would always say, “Face it. Face it. Face it.”

I would wonder to myself, “What does that even mean? How can I face it when she doesn’t truly

understand what I’m going through?” Those days passed with the echo of her words, “Face it.” Though

I was equipped with a library of life’s formulas—countless dos and don’ts—I often felt uncertain about

where or how to apply them. Knowledge was there, but understanding its application came much later.

Years rolled by, until one day in February 2015, I had an epiphany  during a coffee break,

They say a lot can happen over coffee. And for me, it truly did.

I don’t drink coffee, but during that break, my friend, my mentor, Lakshmi, shared a

story from her honeymoon.  Kindly allow me to transport you to that moment.

Picture a honeymoon—a time filled with love, laughter, and two key characters: the hero and the

heroine. This couple embarked on a trip to Anamudi, the point that marks the border between

Tamil Nadu and Kerala.

Exhausted from their journey, they hired a cab to return home. It was a new vehicle, and

they knew little about the driver. To make matters worse, the driver kept blinking suspiciously.

This set off alarm bells in their minds. Now, imagine the heroine—newly married and radiantly

beautiful, adorned with bangles and jewelry, exuding elegance. Yet beneath her composed exterior, fear

brewed.  Thoughts raced through her mind: Why is the driver blinking? Will he attack us? Will he

demand my jewelry or behave improperly? Suddenly, things got even more unnerving as a

scooter and bike began following them in the dark (Tobo — Tobo —Tobo)

Panicked, she looked to her husband, her Hero. What was he doing? He was blissfully

napping in the midst of this chaos!

Unable to comprehend his calm, she woke him up, urging him to grasp the reality of the

situation.

Let me pause here. Imagine yourself in the hero’s position. After hearing the heroine’s

concerns, how would you respond?

Now, let me share what the hero actually said.

“Honey, I’m not a hero,” he admitted.
“I can’t fight anyone.
If something happens, we’ll bow down and seek mercy. That’s the practical thing to do. Let’s not let our imaginations run wild.
We don’t know their intentions, so let’s not jump to conclusions.”

He advised her to quiet her thoughts and remain practical. Then, as if nothing had

happened, he resumed his nap.

This story left a lasting impression on me. It made me realise the power of staying

grounded, shutting down unnecessary fears, and approaching challenges with clarity.

From that moment, I formulated my own secret SAS ((pronounce as Sauce) to life. Its SAS. not the

tomato sauce we lick:

S – stands for

Shut down wild imaginations—Our minds can wander endlessly, crafting both beautiful and

daunting scenarios. Stay grounded in reality.

A – stands for

Analyze the situation—Even in the face of adversity, assess what resources you have and

how to use them effectively.

S stands for

Strategize—With a clear goal in mind, plan your actions thoughtfully.

While the hero in this story didn’t exude traditional heroic qualities, he was deeply

practical. And sometimes, practicality is the most heroic trait of all.

Stories have the power to leave lasting impressions, teaching us lessons we might not

grasp otherwise. Whether they are fairy tales or real-life accounts, they provide wisdom in

unexpected ways.

So, let’s embrace stories, analyse the challenges they depict, and strategize to overcome them.

After all, every dragon can be slain, and every tough situation can have a happy ending—if we

approach it wisely.

By the way what happened to the hero and heroine in this story? To find out, you’ll have to tune into

my  next speech. Thank you!

Lost & Found

One of my major setbacks that I want to put forward today was getting onto the stage and facing everyone. If it’s a group performance, I could easily hide behind anyone, just peep out, perform, and forget it. But getting onto the stage all alone is something terrifying.

During my 7th grade, I was forced onto the stage for a short talk. In spite of the humid weather, I was completely frozen. From then on, climbing up the stage and facing the audience had always felt like thrashing in the water to save my life—without knowing how to swim.

At the outset, every speaker from the past until today has experienced the same struggle of thrashing in the water wildly. But how did they master the art, evolve, and emerge from it? Like an oxygen tank, like a floating device— There comes a few people FOR OUR RESCUE. They guide, empower, encourage, and motivate us to evolve. They are our Mentors.

Now, there can be unsolicited and solicited mentors. Sounds technical?

Good afternoon, fellow Toast masters and Guests.

Let me keep it simple. All these days, before getting into L2P3 – Introduction to Mentoring, I had the impression that mentors are superheroes who have been victorious against all odds, and I was waiting to find one such mentor. But after venturing into life on my own terms, there came a stunning realisation of truth. Life taught me a profound truth:

As human being, everyone is prone to commit mistakes.

Mentors are the ones with great experience and knowledge, willing to spend their valuable time guiding, supporting, and helping us achieve our goals.

I’m grateful to have discovered mentors I failed to recognise before.

The very first mentor that come to our mind is our Parents and Teachers. Often, they tend to play the role of a coach—always at our back, giving us plenty of dos and a long series of don’ts, constantly pestering us with advice. Those invaluable insights are often perceived as criticism, right?

They are unsolicited mentors sent by God.

Later in life, we voluntarily attend insightful sessions, listen to thoughtful talks, and get motivated by third persons—they become our solicited mentors. One such person was Mr. Sam, a guest speaker at a personality development camp. His words were…

“Get onto the stage

no matter how freezing cold you feel,

no matter how your lips tremble,

no matter how your legs shake in fear.

Of course, people make fun of your unintentional gestures on stage. But remember—these feelings fade away in just a week’s time. It’s like catching a common cold—only after seven days does it leave you. But after seven days, you gain more immunity. These trials and tribulations are indispensable, even for a cocoon to grow into a butterfly. So why don’t you take it up happily?

Be ready, be happy to get onto the stage…”

These words immediately drove me to the stage, and I delivered an impromptu vote of thanks to him.

That’s how my journey to the stage, to facing an audience, to public speaking unfolded.

But still, my silence to spotlight moments were too short. My gap analysis proved that being confined to a seat, staying within my comfort zone, would never yield me any interesting topics to talk about.

There was another Senior cum Mentor, by the name Sivasankari, at my office, who brilliantly poked me out of my comfort zone. With her companionship, I mustered the courage to rise to different occasions and take part. This acted as the next propelling force, helping me reach longer spotlight minutes.

Only after involving myself in other activities did my thinking and creativity unleash. I lost my hesitation, limitation, and fixation—and found my vision for continuous growth.

Now, I am able to get on stage and have some stuff in mind to talk about, but there is still a feeling of a huge barrier or wall between me and my audience.

Is my voice being heard?

Am I really engaging the audience?

These questions—the quest to grow—guided me to Toastmasters.

My club, V-Talk, assigned me an energetic and dedicated mentor—Toastmaster Sorabh Kalra, based in Pune – Kind, empathetic.

He prefers video calls. Months back, my confidence level was deep inside a dark hole. Meeting consistently with video on created a tangible difference in my eye contact and confidence.

His experience and approach to problems gave me the wisdom that it takes consistent practice and persistence to become a pioneer.

Without any judgements, he converses openly to find multiple solutions to the queries I bring to the table. He insists that I deliver speeches every alternate week. Though sometimes I miss them, his push keeps me motivated to bring myself back on track.

Another person—Toastmaster Gerin Jacob, our Area Director—though not an official mentor, encourages everyone in our club to take roles and constantly reminds us to explore other clubs.

A month ago, he asked me, “Will you be able to accomplish your Level 2 by October?”

I promised. But for several reasons, my plan kept postponed from week to week. When I was finally ready to block the last date of October, Gerin had already blocked it for a panel discussion! This forced me to hunt for speech slots to keep up my promise— and I am so glad that with your club, this has been possible. (I delivered this at Caribbean Toast master Club)

Thank you so much for that.

For me, the mentor-protégé partnership is like vision and action.

A vision without an action is just a daydream. An action without a vision is just a time pass.

But vision and action together can create a big difference.

As Toastmasters, every one of us here has a vision. Mentors empower us to find the right action, execute it, and discover the difference.

The difference I have made so far is:

• I lost my limitations and found my way to boundless opportunities.

• I lost my fear and found the right gear to be on stage.

• I lost my stage fright and found my stage might through a mentor-protégé partnership.

How about you? What have you lost, and what have you found?

SAVINGS

What is that SAVINGS -can  any one guess ?
(Wait for the audience to respond)
Rightly said – Today’s Topic is not an ACRONYM but Savings.
How many of us here do save money ? Please put up your Hands (Gesture)

WOW

It obvious because act of savings is well ingrained and deep rooted into our hearts right from childhood.
Is there anyone unconventional – Not saving money (Put your hands up – Gesture)

No hands up – It is very common and natural that we save for our well-being, future , luxury and
the list goes on

I am here today to talk about one of my fond memory on savings of
How did I save ?
What did I save ?
What did I really reaped out of that ?

Yes Good afternoon fellow toast masters and Guest
That was a Friday evening when I was planned to travel to my home town by BUS.
Starting around 7.30 pm is a peaceful commute to boarding point. Unfortunately that was a rainy evening.

What should I do now ?
Change the Plan or Change the Goal ? (Show strong hand gestures)

Apparently, starting earlier and hiring the auto was my revised plan.
Ola, Uber, Rapido – keeps loading and loading in the rain …
Autowala at the doorstep demanded 500 bucks for just 2.5 km . It costs an arm and leg even for everyone

My inner voice so far in the background – now jumped in the foreground and compelled me to
move towards main road to hire another auto. Main road is jam packed . Vehicles were moving inch by inch. Now this inner voice started to shoot thoughtful questions.
“””Does share auto or auto make a difference in this traffic??
You neither have heavy things to carry nor running short of time . Why don’t You take the share auto ??”””

Of-course that is a valid choice. Now Share-auto is in my Road map . The share auto driver charged me just 10 rs for 1.5 km. They don’t travel till my actual boarding point. So I had got to cover the next 1km.

With more time in hand and rain being stooped , what would You do ?
My inner voice urged me to walk amidst the water logs to save money

Haaaaa. the overwhelming thought of saving 500 bucks  I  felt like a SUPERWOMAN.
Luckily I didn’t catch up cold / fever . Everything went smooth on that blissful evening. Experiencing all this my brain got wired to save more even during unexpected

~2 weeks later I had to get through same kind of situation. But this time my travel is via Superfast Express. Will any train wait for a common man?  Never ! This added hastiness into picture.
My wired brain hesitated to take auto as railway station is far far away and the road is also jam packed in rain. Smart way is to take an commuter rail and reach the Railway station for my Super fast Express. Slowly and steadily I was walking against the rain . Rain had no pity on me and my legs were completely wet. After few hard and difficult strides , I got into a public transport and reached the suburban station with the delay of 30 min. Once more I patted myself for saving money from unforeseen. Then happened the most craziest marathon in my life, running in the rain to catch the commuter rail. As expected all my efforts paid off well in reaching well within the time

WHAT NEXT THEN..?

I made myself comfortable on the upper berth and binge watching kicked off. 45 minutes went off happily. The next was the absolutely unexpected. My Legs were completely struck – could not even move a bit. I didn’t know what happened all of a sudden. Felt like stuck in the rut. The entire night went sleepless in pain.
~2 Days I lived with Volini Spray,!
Next ~2 days took  off !
missed important meetings, trainings, missed my sleep.
Doctor Consultation, Medical expenses shoot up my expenditures.
These unbearable moments gave me an incredible amount of Wisdom.

What did I save ! What did I reap !
I saved 100s of rupees to reap the pain, to lose weekend happiness, to loose my office hours, to loose my meeting , loose my training , loose my sleep and peace? (Let these Questions reachout the audience from various parts of stage and gestures)

But no worries lets always be optimistic (Show a blend of relax and reflections in your face) .
The  strain in the rain, gained me invaluable insights about my purpose on earth.
Am I  saving good memories for my family to cherish ?
Am I maintaining a good environment for the next generation to live in healthy ?
Am I saving energy to spread happiness and smiles ?
Can I build a healthy tomorrow  by being unhealthy today ?

My dear Friends , OFTEN WE FORGET OUR PURPOSE AND OVER STRETCH AND STRAIN . LETS KEEP REMINDING OUR BRAIN THE ULTIMATE PURPOSE OF LIFE.
So before making any savings, Lets REWIRE OUR BRAIN, make sure no actions are
detrimental to Our health and happiness and strive to make prudent decisions.

Last but not least, whatever you save, Ensure you save water, save blue so that we don’t feel blue

THANK YOU

cs

Today the meeting is filled with software engineers, customer-facing engineers, consulting engineers, and so on. What could CS stand for?

Computer science??? (Ask the audience, They would nod)

Absolutely! The room full of Software engineers abbreviate CS as Computer Science.
But with regards to Toastmasters, CS stands for communication style.

All these days, I know, superstar Rajinikanth style, Amitabh style, Indian 2 style. But what is this communication style? I was very curious to know and ventured into the level 2 of presentation mastery. It is understanding your communication styles. There is something more to take away from understanding the communication style. Are you all excited to know about the communication styles? Good.

After a long weekend, I was very tired to get back to work with full force, slowly recollecting what is my password, my last activity … Suddenly there was a lot of people thronging at my bay. I got to see a box full of homemade chocolates from Munnar. One of my colleagues who came rushing for the dark chocolates ended up in white chocolate.

As everyone was relishing this chocolate, the person with white chocolate started asking so many questions and giving so many information. Do you know how the chocolates or homemade chocolates are made ? How this white chocolate is made? He was telling that it is made of… I was astounded to hear that white chocolate is made out of all-purpose flour. Until then I was in a impression that I eat only healthy. I defended him. But he assisted his information with a lot more facts. Telling that that’s how they are able to offer you at a lower cost  than Branded chocolates. It sounds logical and analytical, right?

This kind of communication is called Analytical communication style

• Analytical communication style – They always believe in facts and figures. If you happen to speak to such kind of person, always get ready as if you are going to a viva; get all your information; get all your logic in place, be prepared to answer all their questions to get their approval. Got it?

• Right. As soon as you hear this viva, your brain would have shifted to college days, right? ha ha. That is  how brains are wired.  I will take you to my college days. There people are supposed to work in a special interest group after hours. My Professor Mansoor Rumi, very focused,  precise on time, put all together he is a strict officer. But he wants the students to be ruthless on spending hours to work on new idea. I was the  so-called regular student. Apparently, one day by mistake,  I bunked the class for some reasons and somehow he came to know that. Next day I was subjected to questions.

SIR: Were you present yesterday? CBH:  Sir! I was suffering from high fever, cough and cold. SIR: Were you present yesterday? CBH: That’s what sir, I was suffering… Tell me yes or no. SIR: No sir!

Professor Mansoor Rumi – he follows Direct communication style. Direct communication style – Whenever you’ve got to speak to these people, don’t go with explanations. Be precise, Crisp & Concise. Have your details and only explain them in brief if questioned.

• There was an Lab assistant called  GODMAN. He helps all the students, calm and composed, approachable, but he is not much outspoken. He feels pity for students. This style of GODMAN sir is  Supportive Communication style. Whenever you happen to speak to these persons, be polite and always give them some time to respond. Consider if you are asking him the answer, will he be able to give you rightly? Understand, understand the situation folks. These people will help you, but give them time. This is the third communication.

• There is one more communication style. I’m sure there will be at least one person in your gang/team/class.This person will always be very fun loving. He will always relate something to a story, enthusiastic. He can initiate a conversation very quickly. And that is number four, – Initiative Communication style.

• But does one size fits all ? Noooo! We have to tailor and adapt our style for the audience.All these days I had a  perception communication is how you speak. It’s not how we speak, but it is more of how well you make your message received by the audience or the people across the table. Now here is your challenge. If you want your child to focus, shift focus from gadgets to you. What should be your communication style???? WOW. the right answer shows that I did a good job in making you all aware of the CS 🙂 Thank You